The Park: Making your exit and maintaining your dignity.

It’s that time of year. 

The weather is warming up and the sun is shining. Throughout many local parks, the sound of kids not wanting to leave can be heard in the the air. For many of us parents, the thought about breaking the news to your little one that, “it’s time to go” when they are having a blast, can set off and avalanche of anxious thoughts.

“How rough is this tantrum going to be?”

“Oh no, will everyone will be staring?”

“Ugh, this going to ruin our fun morning isn’t it? 

How can we avoid the impending “leaving the park, doom”? Below you’ll find some tools to keep in your tool belt, to make leaving the park more pleasant, tolerable, and possibly fun. The general idea in the following strategies is: keep your little one’s thoughts on things other than leaving the park! 

#1 Audible Cue: 

Sometimes, a simple audible cue is a parent’s best friend. Most of our phones that we carry around all day, have a variety of fun sounds to choose as an alarm.  You can use one of those fun and unusual sounds as a cue to tell your child that it’s time to leave. I personally like the duck “quacking”. It’s distinctive, noticeable, and recognizable. No more that five minutes before you are ready to leave, allow your child to hear the chosen sound (I’ll use the duck “quacking”, as an example).  Cup your hand up to your ear and playfully ask “did you hear that? what is that? I think that’s a duck! Now, the next time we hear the duck, it’s time to run as fast as we can to the car!”.  Then, prompt them to continue playing.  Every 45-90 seconds after that, playfully ask them if they hear the duck. Then remind them, “ok remember when we hear the duck it’s time run to the car”.  Be sure you give one last reminder 20-30 seconds before the timer goes off.  When it does, make a big deal about the timer going off - saying something like, “Wow the duck!! That means its time go, hurry-up, let’s go…let’s get to the car!” Then to help model the behavior, high-tail it to the car. 

By allowing the duck sound to signal to your child that it’s time to go, it removes the somewhat personal tone of YOU telling them it’s time to go.

#2 Purpose or Task

Sometimes, providing your kiddo a purpose or a task will get them to willingly go back into the car. It’s a good idea to have this planned out beforehand. Go to your child while they are playing and say, “I need your help…can you do me a big favor?…or …hey I have a big job for you, do you think you can do it?”.  The task could be anything - it can be the simplest of tasks really, but the purpose is to get them back to the car. Ask them to help you put something (a jacket, bag, or anything you may have brought with you) back in the car in a specific spot. Or, ask them if they are strong enough to help carry something for you and that you need their help. I always had luck offering to count to see how fast the task could be completed. The great part about that, is the next time you are there, you can repeat the technique and try to beat the previous time! Try asking them to help you count how many trees are on the way to the car or any other repeating object nearby. Use your surroundings and do some thinking on your feet if you need to.  The key is that you do your best to NOT mention that you are leaving - just keep focused on the task.

#3 First – Then

I have two simple words for you: First – Then. 

They’re overly simple, but they provide clear direction and can be used in an infinite number of situations. For the purpose of leaving the park, begin with approaching your child and talk with them about what your plans are after you leave. It doesn’t need to be special, eating lunch, shopping at Target, going to the library, a friend’s house or just home. Talk about it …and talk it UP.  I can’t stress that enough, even if it’s not interesting – use your enthusiasm to make it interesting! Do your best to get them excited. Start asking them questions about the plan - “what do you think we should have for lunch today? Should we have strawberries or grapes? Oh, good choice, strawberries are my favorite!!” Once you have set the stage, let them know, “ok FIRST we need to get in the car, and THEN we can get our yummy strawberries”. 

A few things to remember before moving forward:

You stand a better chance of succeeding, the closer you are to your car when you try these strategies.  Bring the play as close to the car as you can, as the time to leave nears. Also, wait as long as you can to mention that you are leaving the park. Make the language about the next activity, “okay, who is ready to eat some delicious strawberries?” and avoid trigger words like, “All done”, “Time to go”, “Let’s go”, “Time to leave” etc.

And remember - make sure you bring BIG SMILES, ENERGY, and ENTHUSIASM!

Looking for more ideas, or have questions? Contact me to discuss your concerns.